The Oubliette

Pondering

2009-09-18T02:34:41Z

I was having a thought today that was, I thought, interesting. What is it that makes something mythology and not something else? I thought about Greek mythology and Egyptian mythology. They had/have gods they worship but is widely referred to as mythology. But here in the United States we have a religion(Christianity, Catholic, Mormon...) with a god that is worshiped. Why don't we label them as mythology? or why aren't the Greek and Egyptian ideals religion? Every one can argue and say their belief is right so why are there two different terms?

Remind me not to do that again.

2009-09-14T17:44:50Z

I went to my dad's bday/bbq party on the 12th. I'm always positive when I go. I get to see family I rarely get to see and usually tend to think of it as something to go to because of that. But as of this last time I think I've decided that us 3 kids of his should throw him a brunch and let him do the bbq for his friends. Out of the time that we were there I think he was only around us for about 5-10 minutes. Which I can understand because he has a lot of people there and everyone tends to clique together. So he's got to do a lot of bouncing around from group to group. But this time we were the only family that went. I think they must've realized it too. But that wasn't the worst part of the day. The plan was made the night before that I was to drive to Paul's place to be there at 9:30am and that from there we were to drive to Dave's place and all of us were going to drive to Carmel about 10-10:30. So I woke up at 7:30 so I knew I had enough time to get all my stuff done. I even made it to Paul's a little early. It was weird when I was parking. I couldnt't imagine living right there next to the High School I went to. So Paul showed me around the place he's been living at. The kitchen looked nice, but his room was pretty bare. So then we grabbed Paul a Monster at the gas station and headed out to Dave's in Morgan Hill. So we got in Paul's car. Poor guy still doesn't have a radio in the car, but it was cool we were able to talk the way up there. We get to Dave's about 10. And that's when they day went bad. They still weren't ready yet. Dave was surprised that we were on time. Both were in the clothes they had slept in and totally not ready to go. So we waited in the living room with all their pets. They had two dogs (1 doberman almost full grown) and a small white hyper thing, 1 cat, 1 ferret (who was trying to attack my feet), and 2 fish tanks. I don't think they had done anything before we got there and I texted Dave when we were on our way. 10:30 comes around they weren't ready, 10:45 they still weren't ready. I can't even remember what time we actually left their house. I'm pretty sure it was about noon. For some reason there was all this stuff that just had to be done before they left. Dave had gone out to the truck to get some of his clothes, they had to get dressed and what ever else in the bathroom. They had to clean out the truck and blah blah blah. So we start to leave we got the doberman in the front with Dave and Jenna(who's the driver for the day) and me and Paul in the backseat. We get about a minute or so away from the house and then Jenna wants to go back because neither one of them grabbed the leash for the dog. So we go back and head out again. We go to the library because she had to return the book. Fine whatever it doesn't take very long. Then we end up going to Petsmart because apparently they needed a collar. It took them 45 freakin' minutes to pick out a dog collar! How, You ask? The constant questions and mind changes. It appears they'd lost the last collar because it was too big so every collar had to be tried on the see how it fit and then they didn't even know if it did. I'd even asked one of the workers that were walking around. The first one was one of those chain ones and they had that one on most of the time. But they decided that they needed one about an inch shorter so they put that one back. then they started looking and the fabric adjustable ones. They spent a while looking at those. She would ask which one Dave wanted and he picked out this slate gray/blue one but she decided that she didn't like that one and picked out a bright blue and that was the one they ended up with. While they were paying I went over to the cages by the door that hadd the kittens in them. Those poor things! They were all freaked out but trying to be calm, but you could tell they weren't because they were breathing fast. when Dave came over with the dog that didn't help them any, they couldn't hide being freaked out any more. I don't think the dog would've tried to attack them through the cage, but I don't think they knew that. Then after they were done purchasing I guess Jenna wanted a name tag so she was at the machine and I guess had already messed it up one or two times so she had Paul and Dave help her out with it. "does it look right?" I don't know how you can mess those up. Then we walk out the door and she gets sidetracked by the German shepherds that are out there. Then we go get back in the truck and Jenna asks if Dave wants to go to Khols since it's right there. She needed sandals. I told her that season is over and that they probably didn't really have much of anything. 10 minutes later, no sandals. So we start going and now she wants to go to Sonic. She's craving their hamburgers and cherry limeade. She asks if there's going to be food at the bbq and I tell her there usually is.But she decides to make the stop anyway and goes through the drive through. She asks if anybody wants anything, I tell her no that it was too early in the day (I knew there would be food there and that turned out to be a good idea anyway) She gets Paul to get a hamburger and she tells him that he just has to get a cherry limeade. So he does. Dave gets a hamburger and she asks him what he wants to drink and he said a coke. She told him that you can't get those there (even though you can) and that he has to get a slushie or something. So he tell her to order something then. There was a point when she asked if that was what he wanted and I heard him say that he wanted a coke. lol. Then she starts driving away and realizes that she doesn't have a straw and Dave didn't get any ketchup for his fries so she turns back around and parks next to the door so we could get those. It was like she was actively trying not to go! I was getting pretty irritated by then. Then we finally start making our dive up there (at least they were listening to Metallica) we get into Carmel and she decides that she didn't want to go in without bringing something so we stop at a grocery store and they grab some wine. We walk out and then she wants to go into Longs to see if they have any sandals. Which luckily there was one pair that fit her. We get to the bbq at about 3pm. Can you believe it! If I had known that they were going to do all that stuff before they were going to go I would've slept in. But since Dave told me 10-10:30 and that Jenna had to be to work by 1pm I thought that time was kinda of an issue. I guess she called in sick. we get there and there's only dad, Sue, and about 3 other guys. The weather was kinda foggy/misty/overcast, so I think that was part of the lack of people. Dad was saying that some had to work and would be there later. I still hate sand. I don't like that it's rough, I don't like that it gets everywhere. Right after we put the stuff down Dave and Jenna take their dog and go walking around for about an hour. So pretty much Paul and I entertain ourselves with food. They'd already started bbqing. Dad had been there since about 6am so he could grab the spot he wanted. Sue got there about 9am. I hear they had to defend their territory about 10. Some lady was trying to take some of their area. So we went and hung out in the cold. We started packing up about 6. Dad and Sue were going to stay until 11pm. That's quite a long day. But after we grab our stuff Dave starts talking to Dad again so we're stalled for about another 10-15 minutes. We start walking up to the truck and get everything in and start driving away.Then Jenna decides she wants to drive around and look at the houses. Granted there were some neat looking ones, but that was not the time to be doing that. She would've gotten lost if we didn't tend to end up in places that we already were. She went in at least two circles. She would stop at some houses and ask how much we thought they were and then she would run out there and grab a flyer for the house and play the game who ever gets the closest wins a meal at Taco Bell or whatever. She was also going slow and impeding the other cars behind her. She did let one by but there was just another one behind it. Finally we get out of there after a lot of which way should I go's and take a right/left. But she would really listen at first because she wanted to look at the houses and almost get us lost. But we did get out of there and get back to Dave's took a quick bathroom break. Paul had gotten sucked into the tv for a bit since they were playing football. They were making plans to hang out later that night and I guess they were going to some bar downtown San Jose. I forgot what it was called. But while Paul was driving me to my car Dave called and canceled. Paul guessed it when he saw Dave was calling. I kinda felt bad for that. If he didn't have to dive me to the car they probably would've hung out longer. But I get to my car (I was so glad to see my car) put about $10 of gas in it (the light came on while getting to Paul's)and drive home. I didn't get home until about 9:30pm. That day shouldn't have taken that long but somehow it did. So hopefully next time we can either talk dad into doing a family brunch (hell I'll even make the food and take it to his house) or I've gotta drive myself. No more of that.

*update 9/14/09*
I feel that I should throw in a couple funny things that happened that day. I don't want to be one sided if I can help it. The day wasn't all bad.

Funny at Dave's: the pets he has are very entertaining. I love the cat. He's very sociable. He and the smaller dog would play fight and it was actually kinda cute watching them. And even though the ferret would try to bit my feet, it had this obsession with the Swiffer. It chased it everywhere! It looked awfully funny running around.

Funny at the beach: Walking to Dad's spot that he'd staked out Dave ant the rest of them kinda slowed down or stopped because I was having a hard time walking through the sand (as per usual) and apparently I had the funniest look on my face.

Dave was going to feed their dog a piece of cheese and was trying to get him to shake. But when the dog raised it's paw it flung a bunch of sand in Daves face. It was just kinda funny how it happened. ( Did I mention that Jenna was feeding her dog food she knew it was allergic to?)

There were young kinds doing crunches and push ups in the sand

Well, I guess that's all I can think of right now.

Ugh!

2009-09-03T17:54:20Z

This bathroom thing really gets on my nerves sometimes. The other day Tyler came in to make sure I was getting out of the bathroom after I was done washing my face and to do my make-up in the room. I asked who needed to use the bathroom and he said he didn't know! Why am I getting out of the bathroom if NO ONE needs to use it?!?!? What difference does it make? He got after me the other day for being in the bathroom for an hour for taking a shower. Well first I had to go to the bathroom and then I took a full shower. They don't understand that the showers I have been taking that last about a half hour are not full showers so they don't have to gripe about me being in there. So this time I shaved my legs and arms which I hadn't done in about a week. I told him to shave his arms and legs and see how long it takes him. It's not so quick when all the hairs are long enough to stick in the razor and need to be rinsed out every 3rd stroke. It's annoying to always be told to go faster. I should be able to come home from work and be able to relax, but I can't. About a week or so ago I took a shower before work and Tyler told me to wash my face in the bedroom in front of this mirror we have in there. So I brought in my spray bottle and stuff and all I had to collect the water and dead skin was a blanket that soaked through in less than 5 minutes and was leaking everywhere the whole time. this is kinda depressing me out. I'm more often having thoughts of not being good enough. It's been so long since Tyler and I have even gone to do something. All he wants to do is play Halo so I go on the computer but after about an hour I'm completely bored. The cat tried to attack me last night and I strongly whisper(because his mom and step dad are asleep) to her to get the fuck off me and Tyler tells me to be quiet. Like I'm the one in the wrong. He was even playing Halo last night and he knew that "The Russians stopped attacking". And when he does watch a little tv with me he's bent on aggravating me because it amuses him. He's either kinda smacking me on the arm or leg so I smack him back or he rubs his food along my pants to get this scratchy sound so I smack him again. I do not consider that fun if that's all we do. He doesn't really seem to think to balance that out with cuddling, hugs, or kisses.

Writer's Block: What Makes You Feel Sexy?

2009-08-26T02:49:27Z

What makes you feel sexy?

Sponsored by Body by Victoria® from Victoria's Secret.

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Great fitting clothes and the right kind of music. :^)

Writer's Block: Theme Dining

2009-08-17T04:55:09Z

If you were to open your own theme restaurant, what would the theme be and how would you express it to the customers?

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If I were to open a themed eatery it wouldn't be a restaurant, it would be a bakery. And we'd deliver to your home too. Because there's been tons of times I want something sweet and I don't want to go out to get it. So I'd have a bakery a few tables so people could sit and eat and the cases so you could see what's being served that day. I would do specials for the week too that last until it ran out. I'd have cakes, and pies, and brownies, and bars, and danishes, And pastries and I would have a little cafe so I could sell coffees, iced coffees, mochas and then milk and water. I think it would be awesome!

Writer's Block: The Right to Privacy

2009-08-17T04:35:40Z

Should some parts of celebrities' lives be off-limits to the public, or is giving up privacy a fair price for being famous?

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I think that every part of celebrities lives should be off limits. They are still just people. If they want to share something then good for them. The public does not need to know every last detail of a celebrities' life. And who knows if anything printed is real anyway. I think the paparazzi should just go away. They're annoying and make people's life difficult and sometimes dangerous. I say it should just be cut down to interviews and photo shoots. Let them show what they want. Why does there have to be such frenzy surrounding this stuff? "Ooh! Britney went to Starbucks! We have the pictures!" Whoopty - freakin- Doo! Really? Does it matter THAT much? All it does is warp the celebrities. For some reason society generally likes to see people worse off then they are so people just look worse and worse. They get built up only to be knocked down for every little thing. Why bother?

bathroom

2009-08-03T19:16:43Z

there's been a lot of issues where the bathroom is concerned. There's only one. I know I can take a while, but I don't mean to. My showers take about an hour. I shave a lot. But compared to about 10 years ago that's an improvement. I used to take an hour shower and then wash my hair. Now I wash my hair in the shower and it's a combined hour. So that's better. Then I have dead skin issues while I'm washing my face. Fixing that takes longer than actually putting make up on. But his parents wont tell me that they need the bathroom. I ask before I take a shower if they need it but they say no. I told her the other day that it's washing my face that takes the longest and then she's telling Tyler that she want s to buy me a make up mirror. There's already a big mirror in our bedroom. Which I can easily get out of the bathroom and into our bedroom and do. But no one says they need the bathroom until Tyler drags me out when he's here. So now I feel like I'm taking up their space and I just want to stay in our rooms all day and not bother. I don't do anything else out of our rooms. If I have dishes I rinse them out and put them in the dishwasher. Minus the bathroom they probably don't even know I'm here. But I can't say anything to Tyler because then he'll either fell bad or think I'm being childish. Then if he tells them then they'll probably feel bad too. I don't want to make things awkward, but there's nothing I can do to shorten my time. It's not like I just go in there and stand around. I still appreciate that they're letting us stay here, but It'll be a lot better when we can move out.

Writer's Block: Bite Me

2009-07-27T22:55:07Z

From Dr. Polidori's Lord Ruthven to Stephenie Meyer's Edward Cullen, the annals of vampire lore are filled with attractive, charming bloodsuckers. Which one would you most want to be bitten by?

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Oh I just wouldn't be me if I left this one alone! I'm always up for vampire stuff. But I'm not going to pick just one and I'm not going to put them in order either.

*Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I love the personality and as it turns out really loyal.
*Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He's such a caring guy
(really either would do)
*Bones from Jeaniene Frost's Night Huntress book series. Great character, kinda Spike-like.
*and I really wouldn't want to decide between the vamps from Christine Feehan's Dark series or Kerrelyn Sparks's Love at Stake series. They are very protective and caring.

I've seen True Blood a couple times and don't feel like it's the show for me. It's kinda boring to me. None of the vampires I've seen on there are all that attractive.

I've seen Twilight and read all the books. While I love the characters, there's something off about them. I really don't get the big whoop about Edward. I think it's his personality that make him cute. I don't minds Jasper, he's kinda cute, but he's kinda damaged. Emmett is just a jock type, not really my style. Maybe Carlisle, he's not that bad looking and he's proven countless times that he can stop himself.

Dracula would be interesting...

Writer's Block: Youthful Transgressions

2009-07-23T19:30:13Z

What mistake made in your youth do you most regret now?

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Not getting to know my dad's parents and seeing them more.

Feeling a Pull

2009-07-13T17:54:04Z

I have never been the most religious person and I suppose that has something to do with how I grew up. I usually told people that I grew up Mormon and left it at that. But I see, now, that I grew up "Jack Mormon". And I am fine with that. I never felt a pull towards it or felt excited about it. I took a seminary class in High School in Utah just to see what the whole thing was about because I really had no idea what their beliefs are. I feel like I still only know a little bit. I've gone to Christian church a good amount of times and while I was there I felt like I should read up more about it, but once I left the feeling went away. I still respect the beliefs of the churches, well any church/religion really, but I am currently feeling a pull towards Wicca. I've been doing quite a bit of research on it and have some books in mind that I want to get. I've even gone back to that Borders and got that Wicca/Witchcraft book that was like $4-5. I like what they say they're about. It makes me feel excited. It took me a little while to fall asleep last night. I don't feel like it's a negative pull, but a happy one. So I am going to jump in and see where it takes me. I found a couple of groups in the area online that practice it and if I get up the nerve (because you never know who you're actually going to go visit) I want to go check it out and see what it's really like. So if it turns out how I'm feeling it might, I see good things. I still haven't told anyone about it though. It makes me a little nervous, because I don't know how anyone will react to it. I could tell my bf, but I think he will just think I'm being silly and wasting time. I suppose that I would have to tell him at some point, though. It's just hard with the stigma attached to it.

Shame on me!

2009-07-11T06:41:56Z

I have not done any crunches for a little over a month!!! I really should do some tonight, but it's late and Tyler's going to bed soon. There's no way I'm doing them in the other room and carpet isn't as cushy. Sigh. Hopefully I'll motivate myself to do them tomorrow.

Sears dreams

2009-06-30T18:26:18Z

Why do I dream about there? I could understand it while I worked there, but I don't anymore. But the type of dream has changed. I guess I understand why. I was going over it this morning when I woke up. The first one I had maybe a week ago. I was in recieving looking for something. And I had on last night I was bringing things back and putting them into the fixture room on the top floor. Glad to be rid of them. So I figure, that I was looking for maybe the confidence I left there. I miss knowing what I'm doing and having projects to do to keep me busy. And the second dream...I am glad to be gone from there. Even though I liked knowing what I was doing and the friends I made there...the politics were just insane. The people in corporate are so far removed from the population they are selling to. I saw one of the people from B.C. over the weekend. She's finally quit. I congratulated her. :^) I'm always glad when people get out of there.

Just

2009-06-24T23:04:50Z

We were up for a long time last night. We watched Cold Case until 1am and then went to bed. But I couldn't fall asleep. About 1:45 it sounded like fireworks were going off and I looked at our window and it seemed like they were going off right in our back yard. Tyler had heard it too and really looked out the window. It turns out one of the lines from the cable/ telephone poles was arcing really good. And it was surrounded by trees. We didn't know who we could call so we just called 911 who said they'd send someone out. About 15 - 20 minutes later someone got there. Police/ Firetruck. But they were apparently there to supervise. It wasn't even turned off until about 3am! And it was arcing most of that time. Apparently they were trying to get a hold of someone from the city to turn off the line. So our power went off for a little bit. But I guess they fixed it, because it's not happening anymore. So that's good. No fire.

I made doughnuts today! I was really wanting to make them. But I cheated only a little. I used the biscuit dough from the grocery store. But they still turned out pretty good. I coated them in cinnamon and sugar and with just a hint of nutmeg. Makes you really thirsty, though. we almost didn't continue with it though. The oil was popping pretty good there for a while and we were starting to think it was going to be a fire hazard. But luckily the popping dies down after a while so you can actually use it. It's really quick and easy to do. Now on to chocolate!

Writer's Block: When I Was Young

2009-06-24T07:12:10Z

What do you miss most about being a kid?

Submitted By daeinleyof

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I miss the lack of money issues. I didn't have to worry about work and bills and how to stretch the money I currently have. I miss going once a week every summer to my grandma and grampa's house in Paradise, Ca. Well trailer park I guess it was. We'd go to the local pool practically every afternoon. We'd have chicken soup, which apparently was a combo of store bought spiral noodles and the chicken noodle soup with the small noodle sticks. We'd all go get ready and I remember I'd always used the rubber bands for my hair and it was always so tangled when I got back. I could be a fish for one week. It was great. I looked forward to it every year...until they split. The weather was always nice. And you could tell when there was a certain kind of chill in the morning it was going to be nice and warm. And it always had a nice tree smell there.It's like it was a place all its own. Special. I remember their screen room that the kids would mostly hang out in. Seemed like there was always have cantaloupe and we'd make them into balls. It was one of the times I'd see more of the extended family. Usually my mom's older sister and her son and Daughter would be there too. I would always get roomed with her daughter. There was one time she tried to make me think she got possessed by my grandmas dream catcher. And another time she tried to make me think she had an imaginary friend who could travel through telephone lines and had followed me into the bathroom...but those memories aren't something I miss. Just linked to that time. I loved the afghan/blanket that I always used to like to have around. And I always used to look at this painting the was in between the living room and kitchen of a mother scolding a girl for licking the batter off a spoon.
We'd go there quite often for Christmas too. Since practically everyone was there, presents were piled to the ceiling in the mornings. and we'd make these frosted sugar cookies cut into holiday shapes. I remember wreaths, trees, and reindeer. And we'd frost them with greens and browns and other colors. I even think I remember sprinkles. In the mornings we'd have the cinnamon rings. So good! I remember a usual past time for the adults were cards. They'd play Spite and Malice and Peanuckle, from what I remember.

Cibo Matto- Sugar Water

2009-06-20T18:01:43Z

I have been really digging this song lately!

Wednesdays

2009-06-11T03:21:39Z

I'm thinking maybe I wont look forward to them any more. All it does lately is get me upset or slightly depressed. We went to the Verizon store today. We're able to upgrade right now and we were given a promotion that if we get one Blackberry Storm then we could get another phone of equal or lesser value for free. But then there's tax. So Tyler got all pissed off and got all rude to the manager who was nice enough to help us instead of going into the back and he was willing to make things a little easier for us to. so that was a no go. But earlier Tyler was saying that he'll probably go get them on Friday. But the whole day he was pissed off about it and wanted to change carriers. And since I'm there I'm the one that gets all the bitching. As usual. We went to Target after to grab a few things and then he was complaining of being hungry so I asked him a few time what he wanted to eat, but he didn't know. I suggested the we go to It's a Grind so he could eat something and I could get a coffee. He said he didn't want to go all the way out to Cupertino. So I say fine and ask what he's going to eat then. He offers to take me to the Starbucks right there, but I didn't want to go there. Then he got all upset the I didn't want to go. Then I got upset the he got upset. He said that he didn't get it because I used to go there all the time. I told him that I like the other place more and I wasn't wanting Starbucks. Simple as that. I don't get why he thought it was so confusing. I want what I want. If I didn't I wouldn't want it. He's lucky. It saves money that way. Then he's griping that I don't work enough and that he's the only one really bringing in the money. I had been call to not go in tomorrow. But they called me about 4pm today to see if I could come in tonight. But I hadn't eaten at all yet and I wouldnt've gotten easily dizzy with tall the moving around. So I didn't call them back. But now I feel bad that I had an opportunity to go get some more hours and I didn't go. And now that dinners done he's invited his friend over to play video games again. It's almost like I should've gone and not care.

Writer's Block: Last Meal

2009-06-11T02:42:53Z

What do you want your last meal to be?

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Every dessert I can get my hands on! If it's my last meal, I wont have to worry about gaining the weight and eating right!

Weight

2009-06-10T21:45:57Z

I'm feeling better about my weight. I was getting quite bigger than I'd wanted. I always thought I'll eat this then I'll just do more crunches. But that never happened. Or I thought just one more. But it all adds up before you even know what happened. And it irritates me because I've always thought I've needed to loose weight. Ive never thought I was at the right weight to wear a lot of stuff. I had almost gotten to my ideal weight when I first started going to College. And then I started eating junk food again. So damn. Now I've started from a bigger number than I did the last time. So for the last few months I've been doing really well with my dieting and my thought process with it. Even people at Sears before I left had noticed that I was loosing weight. I definitely don't eat as much as I used to...actually I've practically reverted back to what I was doing my Jr. year in High school. I usually weight for dinner to come around before I eat anything. The only time I'll have lunch is if I go to work that day, but even then it's only something small, or if I go meet my dad(which doesn't happen too often). When I met my bf that I have now and I was doing that he thought I was starving myself and I thought maybe I was so I started eating more meals, but I only gained more weight. So I now think that I'm not. Because 1 if I'm not hungry I can't be starving, right? And 2 I realized that much eating wasn't right for my slower metabolism. So now I eat less and do more crunches and squats at home and I think it's paying off. I was so excited when I bought that dress for the wedding that I went to was a size 10! I had grabbed a 12 because it was the only one around my size and it ended up being to big so I grabbed a 10 and when that one fit I grabbed a few more. But I'm still bigger in pant sizes. I still have yet to figure that out. But I do have a theory. I get the bigger sizes in pants because I don't want anything coming over the tops of the pants and it dresses there's no top for anything in my middle section to go over being all one piece. But I think that the biggest thing that's helping me is the way I'm thinking about it. Every time I've tried to loose weight it was always about the number. Has the number gotten smaller and when it took forever to go down it seemed useless. Now I think differently. I go by sight. I try to make my number look the best it possibly can and go from there. The results are much quicker. Every once in a long while I'll weigh my self, just because I'm curious, but it doesn't derail me anymore. So for that I'm glad. And boy am I glad I have some self control. My bf and his mom eat dessert like no tomorrow. I always see him eating ice cream or candy bars at night and then later he'll have some cheese-it's. Him mom just made some brownies (which I LOVE!) and just behind those she has a big thing of cookies she bought at the store. and She usually buys like 6 bags of peanut M&M's at Target. One night she polished of about 8/10's of a quart of ice cream. By herself. But I tell my self "NO, it wont help me". But I do make exceptions. I will eat desserts on special occasions. Like birthdays, holidays, weddings (had cake at the wedding!!!). That way I'm not missing out on food I love, but I also keep it in check. Now I just wish I had someone to work out with me so I don't feel like I'm being watched. It's awkward working out at home while my bf sits on the couch. I'll usually close the door or get as far from his view as possible. I thought my waist was looking pretty good today so I asked him and he said it looks the same as it usually does. So here's to some more inches! Good luck to me. lol!

Writer's Block: Talking Ducks

2009-06-09T22:49:44Z

Happy birthday, Donald Duck! Which cartoon character do you think is the most disturbing?

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I'd probably have to say the Woodland Critters from south Park. Those characters are pretty twisted!

Aww

2009-06-08T01:26:05Z

I went to my friends wedding yesterday! It was so cute and she was so pretty. Her dress was gorgeous! It's the first time I've been in a church for a long time. It's interesting to see how different each church is and how differently different religions decide to decorate them and focus on. The actual wedding was nice. For me there was a lot of...Oh I can't think of the right word...but something like filler but not. But apparently they've been known to go longer. But I understand that being in a church, it will have a lot more to do with a church. There was a lot of prayer and readings and such. When ever someone went up to say something they would bow at the foot of the stairs to go up facing the alter and when they were done they would do it again. I've never seen that before. Well, I don't remember seeing that before. They looked so happy! You could tell they wanted to be there. And that just made me feel so much happier for her. The reception was nice. Though, it felt like if you weren't part of the weeding in some way you were waiting around a lot. I was lucky I found a couple I recognized from one of the other times I hung out with her. So I sat with them. The food was good. They didn't pay for a caterer, so someone she knew cooked it. The cake was good too. It was a nice break from my no desserts thing(I've told myself to only eat desserts on special occasions, and so far I've done it!) Then I watched her toss the bouquet and him get the garder belt...no wrong word, but I can't remember that one right now. I loved her dad's speech. It was so cute! That's the first time I'd seen him. It made me wonder what my dad would say if that was my wedding. I want one! But I wouldn't do it the same way, but that goes without saying. Two different people, two different weddings. So far, at this moment, here are my thoughts:
*I would have my wedding by the water or in a nice green area, or maybe a nice indoors. Though from some shows on tv, there are some hotels that look nice and it looked like they do both.
*I would rather have the wedding and reception in the same spot so I wouldn't have to drive any where.
*I already know what I want my cake to look like, so that'll probably be the most expensive thing (damn food network).
*I'm not too sure one color schemes yet, but I'm thinking royal colors(dark purples, reds/burgundy, blues) and some kind of metallic(gold, silver, bronze), maybe a little black...I would like the look to be dark, elegant, classy...old world kind of feel. Dark chandeliers(with dangling crystals) and candle holders would be nice.
*I'm putting disposable cameras at every reception table so I'll have tons of pictures.
*I would like a photographer
*I'll do my damnedest to find a dress for a couple hundred (David's Bridal $99 sale here I come!)
*Of course my bestest friends will be my maid of honor (Not sure if I'll do bride's maids)
*Not expecting to get big trains or puffy dresses, I'd probably trip on them anyway.
*My center pieces would focus on candles and not flowers
*A Summer wedding...maybe fall
*Nice attire would be a must. No jeans and hats (I'll be wearing a dress so do the rest of the females)
*No country or rap will be played at the reception
*Food! I would rather not put everything all on one plate. So I'd probably want to split it up. Salad and bread first, then the entree, then cake.
*I think the salad my dad used to make would be good. The one with the Champagne dressing and red apple slices (maybe a second option of regular salad with Italian). Then maybe a rustic bread or focaccia or ciabatta, or just bread rolls.
*Then I think baked ziti would be good. Tastes good and can make a lot easily and pretty affordable. Then some kind of meat. I love steak, but I don't see it going with ziti. So maybe pork...Oo! Yogurt Chicken!
*Then cake. I would love the cake to look like a dress and have some nice piping and have the corset look with the ribbons in the back.As for flavors I have no idea yet. Chocolate is always good, but not the whole thing. White would be nice...
*And I really want to have at least ONE dance with my new husband. I was just thinking the song I ONLY HAVE EYES FOR YOU by the Flamingos would be neat.
:^) Well, I think that's all I have right now...

Waiting

2009-06-04T04:50:20Z

I feel like I've been doing a lot of waiting today and I have been pretty bored because of it. For a good portion of the week I look forward to Wednesdays because both of us has that day off. So usually about Tuesday night I ask what he wants to do the next day. And about 11pm last night he went to a mutual friend's house to switch cars because he offered to get his tires changed where he works. And the plan was to do it today. So I hoped he'd at least do it in the morning so we can do something the rest of the day. So about 11:30 he comes back saying that he still has to go back because the tires they were going to use had to be ordered and they would be in between 2-3pm. I ask if he wanted to go do something next week because I didn't want to have to have a time limit. But I didn't want him to be upset so we went out. We planned to go to Vallco and Valley Fair. I wanted to go to JC Penny's and he wanted to go to the Fox store. We didn't find anything and we came back home. I think we were out maybe two hours. He eats lunch and decides to go back to where he works so he could work on the tires. It was supposed to be a quick job. So I figure I'll just wait for him to come back and then maybe we'll go do something else. He didn't get home until about maybe 6-6:30. So then he gets home and said that once his mom gets home that they were going to go get dinner. On the way there he said that his friend was going to bring his car back to our house and eat with us. So there goes some more time with him. And while we're eating they decided that they should play video games, but then they were going to wait until about 9. So in between then I had to take a shower. So here's to another Wednesday wasted.

Update

2009-05-27T03:29:49Z

Today we got the $30 from Paul. Part of me feels bad for taking it, because I know he needs it too. That's a very small part, mind you, but it still kinda gnaws on me. The rest of me says that he agreed to pay the money and he shouldn't not pay it either. I had to bring it up to him. I don't think he would have said anything hoping that Tyler and I would forget. But there was no way Tyler would let that happen. We ended up aggravating ourselves about it yesterday and didn't even resolve it until this afternoon. Because every time Tyler brings it up I get upset. Paul is supposed to be my brother, but in this situation he didn't really act like it. It kinda seems like family isn't really a high priority with him. I've become very disappointed with my brothers lately, and it's sad. I don't want to feel that way. And that's why Tyler and I were upset. Tyler isn't as in to family things as I am. I didn't want to push him about it and have him think that's all I wanted to talk to him about and Tyler didn't get that and thought that I should have been more on his case about it. I'd just been really torn between the two of them. But at least now it's all over and I hope Tyler and I can get past this. I know he wont forget about it and wont trust Paul with anything. Especially anything he says. And I don't blame him. But I think things will be better once this situation has been blurred and feels farther away.

Writer's Block: Places to Lay Your Head

2009-05-27T03:17:51Z

How many different places (cities, houses, apartments, dorm rooms, etc.) have you lived in? Which is your favorite? And your least favorite?

View 502 Answers

I have lived in 10 different places since I've been born. I've lived in 7 different cities, 5 houses, and 5 apartments. Most here in the bay area in California, and most has taken place since 2000. But there's a house I used to live in growing up that will always be my house. Even though I don't live there. I'd been there for so long I never thought I'd have to live anywhere else. It was so close to all my schools too. So I'd have to say that was my favorite place. Since I've been back to California, the last two apartments have been the worst. They had a lot of issues and noise. And even still the house I'm living in now is only temporary. So in a couple of years there will be a number 11.

So many months!

2009-05-15T00:34:42Z

So apparently I haven't written anything since January! I suppose there's some catching up to do...Let's see.

My birthday:
I think that my birthday has been my favorite so far. I had the most fun. I some how managed to get a few people that work(ed) at Sears to come and my regular group and my other friend who I will try to get out with, usually go dancing, and her fiance. I even got my bf to go! There were two people I was surprised came. I had accidentally invited a girl I was working with but she had fallen out with the girl that came. There was some bad rumors going around and blamed her and another girl for it. But that girl didn't show up. All was well. But it kinda seemed like her and her guy didn't really want to be there anyway. Which made it weird. The thing I didn't like about my birthday was that the groups didn't meld together. I didn't have my hopes up or anything, but it would've been nice. Instead I had to go from my Sears friends to my bf sitting with my friend and her fiance to my group of friends I usually hang out with. While each group wanted me to stay there. That was hard trying to give everyone equal time. I don't know how my dad does it every year for his birthday. And his is on a much bigger scale! But all in all we went to Strike Cupertino. A bowling alley by the Vallco mall. But we played a game of pool, which I WON!!! Usually I tend to choke on the last shots and scratch the 8 ball or something, but I actually got it in the pocket I was thinking it would! And that was after a chocolate martini and 3 buttery nipples. Maybe my ex was right with alcohol being some kind of magic aiming fluid.

April 1st:
I had my orientation at DSW. I no longer work at Sears. I decided enough was enough. I didn't HAVE to take their crap, so I turned in my 2 week notice. well, actually I e-mailed it in and printed a copy for myself. My email from when I was a lead was still active so I sent a quick email to the store manager, ops. manager, H.R. manager, my manager and lead. There is no way they can say that I never told them. Because by saying that they could put down job abandonment. So now I have proof and they can't do shit. It's like a vacation being away from there. My manager and another manager wold bring up every once in a while that I could take the pressure once they knew I was leaving. The other manager was some how surprised that I was leaving. She thought I liked where I was! Yeah right! But if I really couldn't take the pressure I would've left a LONG time ago. I just decided I didn't WANT to. I was always their scapegoat for their inability. And I don't think that's a way to manage and run a business. So good riddance to them. I've gone to visit two weeks after I left. I went to get my last pay check. I had a week overlapping the pay periods. And apparently they had it, but thought they sent it out because they didn't have it any more. And so now I still haven't received it and the HR manager has just recently sent his second email to find out what's going on. Because the checks aren't cut from the store. I told my dad and he said that they just can't get out of their own way. Lol!

DSW:
Well, I am glad to be there. I was bored at first because all I was really doing the first day was wondering. My job was to talk to the customers, make sure they're finding things alright and to sign them up for the rewards program. But basically I was wondering. But since then I now know the register basics and how they want the floor kept. So I don't feel as bored now. But I have no where NEAR the amount of hours I want. I'm lucky if I get 16 a week. The last two days I've worked they've added two more hours, but today they called me and told me not to come in.So hopefully they keep me for Saturday, otherwise I'll only have worked one day this week. eww. So since I love the fact that I get 30% off the shoes (even if they're 80% clx) I find myself thinking I should look for a second job because if I need shoes that 30% would be great. So I think I'll give them another week or two to see what they decide to do with me or what their routine tends to be and tell them that if I can't get any more hours I gotta start looking for a second job or if worse comes to worse another one altogether.

Family:
This will take a lot of writing. Be warned. Things could be better. I find the things with my brothers just getting worse. Dave has been doing a great impression Boo Radley. I've seen him on his birthday in March and that's been the last I've seen of him. I hear from dad that he's thinking of seeing a therapist to talk through some stuff, which I think would be good for him. There's something wrong and he obviously wont talk to any of us about it. Dad and my Tyler think he's on drugs which could very well possibly be. My dad also things that the girl he's kinda engaged to and living with is a big part of his problem. Apparently she's not so big on honesty. Which is why she can't keep a job for very long. She apparently has a record of some kind she neglects to mention and when they find out they let her go. And they have SO many animals. When I saw their place they had two horses, a cat, a dog, and two fish tanks. But they're currently getting rid of one (did they have 3 then?), Dave's actually, because he's too nervous being on it and he thinks the horse can tell. This is from the accident that I wrote about in Jan 15th post. But Dave has been really screwing over my dad and until Monday or Tuesday (can't remember which) I had no idea how much it's cost him. So Dave's thing for the last year or so he would borrow money from dad and then disappear for however long. And he's supposed to be working with him! He's almost cost my dad his business because of his constant not showing up. My dad told me he'd had to hire some plumbers and another group of people (who charge $100/hr) to take care of his absence. And that one of the groups didn't want the money right away because of taxes. But then when the guy wants it in February my dad doesn't have it because he's given it to Dave for some odd reason. And dad had to really work and save to quickly pay the guy. And then there was the time when Dave was getting his fiance a ring but didn't have enough money for the down payment. So my Dad gave him $5,000 dollars so he could do it. And that money was supposed to go to the payment of the new truck dad had gotten Dave for work for doing such a good job of staying focused and on track for how ever many months. But then he meets Jenna his fiance and it's rare to see him 3 days in a row. Even still. My dad has finally hired a new guy to replace Dave who works really hard. So I'm glad dad did that. And he also has our old family friend Travis coming in on weekends or something like that to help out also. It's nice to hear how grown up he is. He always used to pick on me. But now he's married and has two kids...it seems to work well with him. And apparently motivates him.
And then there's Paul. I think Paul's gotten worse. Well, I actually think we never really knew him. He is the black hole. He's has been given/loaned so much money and he has absolutely NOTHING to show for it. He's borrowed money from my dad till no tomorrow. He's had so many problems with his car needing to be fixed. and dad is always the one who pays for it. Well, except for this last time. No wait, I take that back. About a week ago I got a call from Paul saying that there was something wrong with his car and if Tyler and I could go to pick him up. Which we did. I told Tyler that he didn't have to work on it, just tell Paul what needs to be fixed and about how much he should be expecting to pay. Tyler actually offered to work on it for $100 to get Paul a deal (and Paul would have to pay for parts as well). Paul agreed with no issues. So Tyler told him to put some water in his car so it wont over heat and we followed him to Dad's which wasn't that far away. We got there fine with no problems and Tyler was going to work on it on his next day off. Tyler had to drive over to Vallco mall to grab the keys from Paul, drive over to my dad's to get the car. He drives it home to work on it, because he didn't want Sue to freak out about oil spills or anything. Then Paul calls him to hurry up because his gf that lives about a half hour away got beat up by her ex and is in the hospital. So Tyler went faster drove the car to Vallco and Paul drove him to his car at my dads. Not to mention that Tyler had to go 2 other places for parts (that Tyler payed for). And when it comes time to pay up then we get the "reasons" why he can't pay. 1:He has to pay his rent(well why didn't you bring that up in the first place?) 2: He thought his check would've been more (You've worked for Sears since 2003 on an hourly pay. It's kinda hard to under estimate by over $100)3: He doesn't have any money with him and the machine wont read his card 4( there are other machines): he still needs to pay back his lead $120 because they didn't pay him for vacation on time (that's been quite a while ago now)5: Well, I have a $20. and when I asked if he could at least do $30 and pay for the parts that were needed he said that he'll ask the people he's loaned money to and see what he can do. How is he able to loan people money? He's the one that's been borrowing! I don't think we'll ever see the money that's owed. He's lucky he didn't take it to a shop. If you can't pay, you don't get your car back. Tyler will not work on his car anymore. Or even help him for that matter. Between the time he worked on the car and getting the money from my dad things were pretty awkward between my and Tyler. I felt stuck. On one side I had a family member that I've known for so long and on the other side I have Tyler whom I've been in a serious relationship with for 5 years. I don't think Tyler noticed that that's what was really happening and it was hard on me. But all he did was complain about Paul. I realized when I last talked to my dad that he's been in that same situation for a couple years now. I don't know how he's done it for so long. It's definitely putting a strain on his marriage. and he looks so so so tired now from having to work extra hard to support everybody and and keep a lot of that from Sue. He told me he just asked my mom the night before last to borrow money! She cannot afford to do that! My dad has been paying her rent since she's been there. Well he is when he has the money to. I called her after I heard that. I guess she sent him $21 because that was all that was in her wallet. I told her not to do that anymore. I told her that if he calls her for more that she should ask him what he wants to sell. Because most of his crap is still up there. His bed, a lot of his clothes, his guitar, amps, pedals, and whatever else he has up there. She doesn't want it anymore and he's not going up to get it. If it was important to him he would've gotten it a long time ago. But instead it's free storage for him. He's recently moved into a new place that's across the street from Oak Grove High School and that costs more money than the last one he was in!!! Not to mention that he has a tattoo now. He says that his gf payed for it, but we all think he did. Here are more thoughts. She to my knowledge doesn't not have a job or if she does maybe pulls in about 15 hours. She has a car, but it's broken in front of her house. She's payed her uncle to do it but it's just sat there for months. So if she had money that would be a better choice of use. Or maybe use public transportation to see Paul instead of him always being the one to go see her. I have not heard him once say that she came to see him. Or she could buy him a gift card to the grocery story so he's not munching on peanut butter like he says he is this week. So he probably just saved the money he's borrowed and got a tattoo. My dad says you can't trust anything that comes out of his mouth anymore. And that's really sad that it's come to that. So my dad has finally come to the decision to not loan either of them any money any more so they can figure it out on their own. Because it looks like that doesn't do them any good to support themselves. What would be helpful for Paul is to get at least a second job so he has enough money. Or maybe even a better job that pays more ,but still keeps him doing similar things. I head from dad that he was bright when Paul was about 7. Especially with sports. Paul could know all the stats to all the players on every team. Which is really impressive since there's about 20 guys on a team. Dave needs to sell all the animals and go to work. Then maybe they wouldn't have to eat macaroni so often. Maybe both should go to therapy. They might get something out of it. I'm still kinda in a funk from the Tyler/Paul thing. I think I'm in better moods today. More normal at least. Well, I think that's all I have in me right now. Hopefully I'll have a longer stretch this time.

What's Your Personality Type?

2009-04-29T00:40:56Z

You Are An INFJ

The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener with almost infinite patience.
You have complex feelings, and you take great care to express them.

In love, you see relationships as an opportunity to connect and grow.
You enjoy relationships when they are improving and changing. You can't stand stagnation.

At work, you stay motivated and happy... as long as you are working toward a dream you support.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

How you see yourself: Hardworking, ethical, and helpful

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Manipulative, weak, and unstable

What's Your Personality Type?